A committed relationship with someone for whom you care deeply, can be either utterly fulfilling or ultimately devastating. These are, of course, the two extremes when examining a relationship. During the course of a relationship, we tend to bounce between the two extremes, in various power struggles. In any relationship that’s heading in the direction of a committed path, there comes a point when one or both partners realize how much of themselves they have emotionally invested in their significant others.
According to Dr. Gail Saltz, [cheating] “has to do with the amount of emotional energy that you put into the other person and are no longer giving your partner.” It starts as an intuition: is my spouse cheating? Evidence of unfaithful behavior is usually circumstantial. Eventually however, intuition leads to investigation. After some time, more conclusive proof may be uncovered, pointing to the inevitable but mortifying truth- your significant other is cheating on you.
So, what are some cheating warning signs?
Most of us are intuitive beings. If you have been in a committed relationship with someone for multiple years, you tend to know that person extensively. If their behavior is unnerving, causing you to question their honesty, don’t ignore your feelings. It doesn’t mean they are definitely cheating on you, necessarily. But if after spending copious amounts of time with someone, you feel like there is something off or wrong, chances are- there is. After coming to terms with your intuition, there are a few cheating warning signs that can help answer the question, “is my spouse cheating?”
1. Increased Concern in Appearance
One seemingly universal sign can be that they, for no reason, start taking a more detailed approach to their appearance. This could mean dressing better, changing cologne or perfume, new haircuts, clothes, shoes, etc. If you start noticing your spouse is suddenly making a serious effort to improve or change their looks, when it was never a concern before, something may be up. Don’t think you’re crazy either; this behavior could make the most rational person beg the question, “is my spouse cheating?”
2. Accusing You of Cheating
Another indicator of possible unfaithful behavior, is when your spouse accuses you of cheating. The idea that your spouse accusing you of cheating can be an indication that they are in fact cheating, seems strange when you take it at face value. Examining the reasoning behind these false accusations may shed more light on this phenomenon. Not all spouses who cheat feel guilty about it, but some will have feelings of guilt. Accusing you of cheating is a way for them to transfer their guilt on to you. It’s not rational behavior and if you keep a cool head, you will see that when you question your spouse as to why they are accusing you of cheating, they give no legitimate explanation. This may be an indicator that they are in fact, the ones cheating.
3. Emotional Detachment
The last sign of potential unfaithful behavior I’ll discuss in this post is emotional detachment. Was there a time when you both would come home from work eager to hear about each other’s day?
According to marriage counselor Gary Neuman, “The number one reason [for cheating] was not sex—it was emotional disconnection” Whether you live together or not, it’s fairly clear when your spouse stops caring in a supposed, committed relationship with you. If you feel yourself receiving the cold shoulder for no apparent reason, something may be happening outside your relationship that’s causing the behavior, I.E. cheating.
As I said earlier, these cheating warning signs are not surefire. If you notice any of these indicators occurring within your relationship, don’t immediately assume your partner is cheating on you. Always trust your intuition, keep an eye out for the signs, and in time the truth will reveal itself.
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