During a recent meeting with a new prospective client who was obviously traumatized and eager to tell us her story about her legal issues with her ex, a narcissistic psychopath, she mentioned that her previous attorney told her he sounded much worse than he expected when he met him in court. I know the heartbreak she felt when she received that feedback from someone who was supposed to represent her best interests.
The Narcissist/Psychopath Ex Will Put on an Award Winning Show to All in Court
Remember when you were convinced and gaslighted into thinking that maybe you were the crazy one after you begged him to treat you like a human being, instead of an enemy? That is what he is aiming for in court. He will stop at nothing to make you look crazy. He will use every mask he owns to appear to be that man you first fell in love with. He will lovebomb and do his best to impress his lawyer, your lawyer, and the judge. He is a skilled manipulator and actor.
He Will Make Personal Digs
If you love the lakehouse or recreational vehicle you own because it held so many memories for you and your children, the narcissist will demand that you sell it. He doesn’t care about anything but himself. He certainly doesn’t care about anything that will bring you happiness. Try to remember this during any opportunities to negotiate with him. Do not show how emotionally tied you are to personal things. This will just be used as an opportunity to further hurt you.
The narcissistic psychopath I’m divorcing hated the recreational vehicle we owned solely because it held memories for me and my children. He will always try to be in a one-up position of power.
Really Trust Us When We Tell You That the Narcissistic Psychopath Will Disappear After a Certain Point
Psychopaths do not like to invest emotional time, money, or energy into anything that must be maintained long-term. At the moment, he will fight you tooth-and-nail for custody of your children, and I understand how much you love your children.
Trust us when we tell you that, in our experience, regular visitation schedules will become non-existent. If visiting your children doesn’t elicit a negative response from you, then he will most likely disappear into the sunset, especially when he’s lovebombing his new victim. Of course he may come around to show his new target what a wonderful dad he really is during a visitation or two, if he hasn’t lied to her about his past, like the sociopathic ex did to me, but this newfound “great” fathering act will fall by the wayside sooner, rather than later.
He Will Constantly Play the Victim
You contacting him because you’re running 15 minutes late will be quickly reported to his attorney. Let us handle the response. Just bear in mind that every communication, regardless of its intent or tone, will be used against you as proof that you are interfering with HIS time with HIS children. He will also claim you are harassing him. It’s silly, pathetic, and you need to remember that you are dealing with a very disordered person. He is not capable of insight or clarity. You are not alone. Divorcing a narcissist/psychopath is unfortunately not the norm, but it is also not unusual. There are more and more of us hoping to make changes to our legal system.
Narcissistic Psychopaths Violate Court Orders More Often Than Not
It is now widely accepted that psychopaths’ brains are wired much more differently than our brains. The differences in their physiology show that these differences lead them to be indifferent about laws and potential punishment. The brain scans of a psychopath also show why they have no empathy or moral conscience. This is why they are pathological liars. We did not realize how truly disordered they were (I found out that the soon-to-be-ex pretended to be a medical student to his ex-wife). This means that you will have to pick your battles to save your money as to which violations you bring to the court’s attention. You can even have a field day coming up with all of the violations in a show cause petition to hold him in contempt. Just document everything, including missed visitations, nonpayment of support, failure to pay spousal support, failure to reimburse you for medical expenses, etc.
If you’re ready to get a divorce, then contact Keithley Law, PLLC, PLLC today by calling (703) 454-5147and schedule an initial consultation in our Fairfax law office with one of our Virginia divorce attorneys. We can walk you through the steps to get the most out of your divorce.